Sitting still and chatting pleasantly became more difficult to accomplish by the minute. Although I continued to resist the urge to fidget or reach for my iphone to check the time or look at my emails, I knew we had extended well beyond a reasonable lunch break. Sending up a quick prayer for intervention and more patience, my mind searched for something worthwhile to discuss that would reduce my growing frustration at our idleness.
If you haven’t already figured it out, patience is not one of my virtues. Combine that flaw with my intense dislike for wasting time and you have developed a recipe for disaster.
I am what you would call a multi-tasker. Then again, aren’t most moms? Between work, family, housekeeping, church, friends, volunteering, and other various commitments, I rarely have the opportunity to tackle only one thing at a time. In the evenings, you can often find me sitting on the floor of my bedroom trying to catch up on my favorite TV shows (always via DVR…I just love that technology!), folding a load of laundry, entertaining a couple of little ones, and checking my email. With only a limited number of hours during the day, necessity requires that I become the ultimate multi-tasker.
On those rare occasions that I am able to focus on a single activity for any length of time, I try to choose those commitments that hold the highest priority in my life. I strongly dislike the idea of wasting precious time on frivolous tasks. This specific lunch greatly exceeded the amount of effort I voluntarily dedicated to this type of activity. Yet, I urgently wanted to support our corporate culture.
You see, my office has warmly embraced the idea that building personal relationships increases team work and open communication. It is one of the aspects of our corporate culture that I most admire. One of these initiatives includes new employee lunches. Here’s how it works. During your first week, a different group of employees takes the new hire to lunch at the company’s expense. By the end of the week, the new hire has received a free lunch each day, discovered several nearby restaurants (which is very useful since it is difficult to find lunch options in our area as we are surrounded by business parks), and most of the staff has received an opportunity to get to know the new employee on a more personal level.
At first, I considered this activity a waste of time and corporate resources. Despite my reservations at the effectiveness of such an approach, I happily attended each of these lunches during my first week. The surprise came during my second week of work. Suddenly, I realized that I already knew everyone’s names and had a general idea of what activities they were responsible for. For those of you who don’t know me well, I am horrible with names and remembering details. The fact that I could now call people by name and associate them with the correct project became a true miracle!
Additionally, staff comfortably and confidently stopped by my office to ask me questions or just to chat. While at first glance you may not understand the significance of this reaction, previous co-workers and employees would likely testify that this is a rare development. Generally, people find me intimidating and difficult to approach. Sadly, that is not by design. The problem is that I’m a very focused and task-oriented individual. I take my work very seriously and I sometimes forget the necessity of developing the softer side of my work life.
Since I don’t actually desire for others to hesitate in reaching out to me, I have made a concerted effort to soften my work image. I can’t say that I have been overly successful, but I continue to work at it. My current company’s progressive work environment provides multiple opportunities to refine my people skills. As with many of our employee relationship development activities, these lunches are optional. However, I decided to try embracing this activity as an opportunity to develop a more friendly and approachable persona.
Despite my desire to give these lunches a try, the current predicament had me reconsidering the logic of choosing this particular opportunity. I feared that my growing agitation had become clearly visible in my behavior, words, and expressions. By the time our marathon lunch finally ended, none of these women would likely ever speak to me again. Crestfallen, I tried to accept that I had failed miserably in my attempt to appear easy going and approachable.
Just as I reached the conclusion that no hope for a good outcome remained, I glanced around the table and sighed with relief that we had finally finished our meals. The waiter approached our table and I could see the end in sight. All we needed now…the check.
Looking back, I should have realized that it would never be that easy. Unfortunately, I had overlooked one remaining item…dessert.
May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. Psalm 20:1 (NIV)
With my patience already stretched to its limits, dessert threatened to push me firmly over the edge. Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? What techniques did you use to keep your temper in check? Return for “Would You Like Dessert? - Part 2 of 2” as I share what happened next.
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